How to Overcome Porn Addiction – Step 4: Healing Your Wounds

So, here we are. We’ve gotten through steps one through three and now it’s time to start thinking about self-healing, if you haven’t already been working on this. Or if you have.

It’s important that you take this step seriously. If you’re like me years of addiction has left invisible scars in you. Over time those scars become more and more present and eventually it feels like you’re little more than scar tissue, but that’s not true. Healing is both possible and necessary.

You’ve gotta start by committing to no longer beating yourself up over your past mistakes. They aren’t real anymore. Yes, it happened. There’s no changing that. But there’s also absolutely no reason to dwell on those mistakes. Like I said, they aren’t real anymore. The only thing that’s real is the moment you are living in RIGHT NOW.

The last moment is gone and the next is yet to come. This one is all you have. It’s all any of us have. And that’s the second part of this. You have to take that to heart. You have to know that this is all there is and every single moment you spend wishing you hadn’t done the things you’ve done is another moment wasted, never to be returned to you.

You can heal from the wounds caused by your addiction, but you have to let go and live in the now. Wherever you are, be there.

How many moments have you already let slip by as you agonize over the past? Or as you fear and worry about the future? I know the answer: more than you or I could count. That’s how many.

Far too many.

You are here, and you need to start acting like it. Every single moment you are faced with the choice to use it for the betterment of yourself and your family and the world, or waste it.

This realization was so powerful for me because most of my life was spent worried over everything else but where I was in that moment. The truth is that we must work to create a better future, so I’m not saying that you should be completely unconcerned with the lessons of the past and the possibilities of the future, but those things should not rule you.

There is only One who should have any rulership over you, and that’s God. Allowing yourself to be ruled over by addiction is weakness, and the same goes for allowing yourself to be ruled over by negative emotions. You are in control of you, and it’s up to you to throw these burdens off your shoulders. No one is going to come and bear the weight for you. You’re either going to continue to suffer and ultimately fall back into your addiction, or you’re going to release the guilt and negative emotions and decide to move on, free of those things, so that you can live clear and free and give your family the kind of life they deserve with you present and alive in the moment with them.

Anyway, that’s the it. That’s step #4. Release the past and commit to living in the now. I downloaded a mindfulness bell app that dings every thirty minutes to remind me to refocus on the moment. It has helped quite a lot so far, so I recommend it to you.

And if you fail along this journey, keep moving forward. This step applies to any times you may screw up in the future. Forgive yourself for failing and renew your commitment again. Every single time. Even if you feel imposter syndrome. Even if you don’t think you should. Do it anyway. Again and again. Every time. Do it.

So far we’ve covered the Battle of the Mind, where you began working on controlling your thoughts and which of them you allow yourself to dwell on, the Battle of the Body, where you began a disciplined workout and diet plan, and the Battle of the Spirit, where you began to really put your faith in God and His ability to help you overcome this.

Now you’ve been given Step 4, and it’s time to focus on healing. Continued doing all of the things from the last 3 steps. Add this to it. I said in a previous step that I’m doing this over time and one step at a time so that you have ample opportunity to actually implement the steps and spend some time on each one before moving on, but you can’t quite one when you start another.

It all adds up as you continue building. So stay strong! Fight through and do not give up.

Step 5 will be out soon.

Until next time,
JP

PS: I’ve found that accountability helps overcoming these things tremendously. I will be writing about the power of brotherhood in overcoming addiction in an upcoming post in this series, but I want to drop this here for those of you who are ready to level up right now.

The doors to the Fraternity of Excellence are open RIGHT NOW, and they’re only staying open for 3 days. And I’m not sure when they’re going to open again, which is why I think it’s so important you get in now.

The Fraternity of Excellence is a brotherhood of men who are all working their asses off and providing immense value to everyone else in the group. There are experts from more fields than I can remember, including porn addiction recovery, and there is no end to the growth I’ve seen in my own life as a result of being a part of this elite group of men.

If that sounds good to you, click HERE and get your name on the waiting list so you don’t miss your chance to join the group and level up your life.

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